Everything a Stranger Said About My Height in 2015
I’m 6’ 9".
When I’m out in public, strangers routinely query me for this number. The more persistent among them will ask about my past or future basketball career and the relative heights of my parents. Though I will occasionally hear something that amuses me (“One more inch and you’d be seven feet.”), every time I leave my apartment it is with the expectation that I will hear the same series of mundane questions.
It turns out I am not the only one who feels this way. In his great book The Height of Your Life, Ralph Keyes writes:
I've heard this sort of thing repeatedly from tall men. It's not the incessant commentary about their height that is so annoying, it's the stupefying boredom of it all. Were anyone to say something original or witty or different in any way, the constant chatter thrown their way might at least be entertaining. But soon after reaching their full height, tall people realize to their horror that the lifetime's commentary to which they've been sentenced comes mostly from those with least to say.
Exactly.
I have found that new friends, upon spending time with me in public, are often surprised by how incessant the commentary is. For a while, I’ve contemplated how to share that experience with a broader audience. I decided that just sharing the funny comments (“I got a got a homeboy who is 6’ 9”, but, damn!, he ain’t that big. Only Lebron James is that big.") makes people miss how few and far between they are. So, in 2015, I wrote down every comment a stranger made about my height. I shared them with friends in monthly batches. This post contains all of 2015’s comments. Several of these are edited for brevity, but none are exaggerated or made up.
As a final comment, I will note that I spend relatively little time in public. I work out of my apartment, so I am certainly not in a job that surrounds me with strangers. Thus, these comments occur in the limited amount of time I do spend in public; at least 50% of them are grocery store encounters.
2015-01-02
“You make me feel very short."
“Thank you."
“How tall are you?"
“I’m six nine."
“My ex was like 6’ 6” or 6’ 7”, and he was tall. But you are really tall.”
2015-01-06
“You’re so tall.”
2015-01-07
“How tall are you?”
2015-01-07
“That boy is tall. How tall are you?”
2015-01-08
“You’re so tall my head had to go back to see ya.”
2015-01-10
“I gotta get a ladder.”
2015-01-11
“Are you six nine?”
2015-01-11
“I know you’ve never been asked this question before. How tall are you?”
2015-01-12
“You’re tall. How tall are you? Six six?”
2015-01-13
Cashier: “How are you doing today?"
“Pretty good."
“Every day should be good for you?"
“Why’s that?"
“Cause you’re tall!”
2015-01-22
Something in Korean with hand gestures indicating great height
2015-01-23
“I said! God! That guy is tall.”
2015-01-28
After running across the grocery store to talk to me
“Hey man, I know everybody asks you this, but me and my boss are having a debate and I gotta ask. How tall are you? I said you was 6’ 8” but now that I’m over here I know you gotta be way taller."
“I’m six nine and a half."
“Daaaaamn he was right.”
A few minutes later
“You know what the next question is."
“The answer is ‘No.’"
“You didn’t play basketball? My momma woulda kicked me out of da house. Flat.”
2015-01-29
“How tall are you?”
2015-01-29
“You need to take some of that height and put it right here.” Pats the top of her head
2015-01-29
“I wish I was that tall. Boy, you could dunk that ball in a minute. I would be doin’ dunks all the time.”
2015-02-04
“It’s hard to be tall on these planes.”
2015-02-04
“How tall are you?"
“Six nine."
“Oh yeaaaaah.”
2015-02-04
Flight attendant: “Be careful as you walk down the aisle. I don’t want those to slice your head.”
2015-02-05
“How tall are you, six eight?”
2015-02-05
“Damn. Are you guys a basketball team?”
2015-02-09
“That is a big man.”
2015-02-09
“You six four?"
“Six nine."
“Not as small as I thought.”
2015-02-09
“You look like a basketball player. … Doesn’t he look like he could be Kevin Love’s brother?”
2015-02-11
“How tall are you?"
“Six nine."
“Oh wow.”
2015-02-12
“You’re too tall!”
(After I hit my head on a light fixture.)
2015-02-14
“Man. How tall are you?"
“I’m six nine."
“Dang. I have to look up at your myself."
“Everybody does."
“You playin ball?"
“Nope."
“You up there.”
2015-02-14
“If you don’t mind me saying, you are tall.”
2015-02-14
“Did you play basketball?”
2015-02-16
“How tall are you?”
2015-02-16
“How tall are you?”
2015-02-18
After seeing me over the lockers at the gym
“I had to come over here and see if you were really that tall.”
2015-02-27
“Damn, you’re tall, dude!”
2015-02-27
“Excuse me, sir. How tall are you?”
2015-03-05
“Look how much he has to duck!”
2015-03-08
Guy in the bathroom: “I was wondering if you were standing on a stool or something.”
2015-03-08
“They are tall.”
2015-03-11
“How tall are you? … Yo, I’m gonna be that tall by the end of my senior year?”
2015-03-19
“How tall are you?”
2015-03-20
“Let me guess. Six ten?”
2015-03-20
“You’re the first customer I’ve had who had to duck coming through that door.”
2015-03-20
“That guy is really tall.”
2015-03-21
“Ohhh! You’re a tall one.”
2015-03-25
After not so subtly sizing me up
“What’s goin’ on?"
“Just waiting for my food."
“You’re about six five, aren’t you?"
“I’m six nine."
“Jesus! What size shoe do you wear?"
“Sixteen."
“Mine are thirteen.”
2015-03-28
“Have you been watchin any of these ball games?"
“You know, it’s not really my thing."
“I figured as tall as you were, you might’ve played.”
2015-03-29
“Excuse me! I wasn’t expecting to have to look so far up!”
2015-04-05
“Do you play basketball?”
2015-04-05
“I have to ask. How tall are you? … Did you play basketball?”
2015-04-05
“How tall are you?”
2015-04-11
Chorus of middle school boys: “That guy is really tall. Whoa, look at that guy! That guy is really tall? How tall are you? Do you play basketball? Do you play basketball?”
Hours later at a different location:
Different chorus of middle school boys: “That guy is really tall. Whoa, look at that guy! That guy is really tall? How tall are you? Do you play basketball? Do you play basketball?”
2015-04-11
Chinese restaurant employee in Indianapolis: “He plays for the Pacers!”
2015-04-11
Guy approaches table at Chinese restaurant packed with middle schoolers
“Hi, sorry to interrupt you. We just got back from a Christian youth retreat where we talked about David and Goliath. Would you mind standing up so I can introduce you and tell the kids that Goliath was over two feet taller than you? You don’t have to, it’s ok if you say no.”
2015-04-13
“Six ten? Six eleven? You gotta be.”
2015-04-17
“What are you? Six nine? Six eight?"
“I’m six nine."
“Damn, man! Who you play for? Duke? You play for NC State? Damn! You NBA?”
Proceeds to tell bar doorman he should comp my cover charge.
2015-04-18
“Excuse me, how tall are you?”
2015-04-30
“He’s hugeeee!”
I overheard this comment while out with a fifth grader from my church who is unaware of these posts. After hearing the comment he said, “Well, you can definitely hear people talking about your height!"
2015-05-01
“How tall are you?"
“Six nine."
“I was going to say, like, seven foot. Do you enjoy being that tall?"
“It’s pretty good."
“Do you play basketball at all?"
“Nope."
“I think you’d have an advantage if you did.”
2015-05-01
“I wish I had a little bit of your height. Hehehe.”
2015-05-01
Short lady in Wake Med ICU lobby (where I’m visiting a friend who had a heart attack): “Excuse me, sir. Can I stand beside you for a minute?"
“Yes ma’am.”
Lady’s family all laughs.
Lady: “How tall are you?”
2015-05-01
“Can I ask you a personal question? How tall are you?"
“I’m six nine."
“I noticed you had to bend over when you came in here, I said, ‘Wow! I’ve got to find out.’”
2015-05-07
“Good gracious, you are tall! How tall are you. … You know I gotta ask, did you play basketball?”
2015-05-07
“Did you play basketball?”
2015-05-09
“Just how damn tall are you? Can you change my light?”
2015-05-11
“You play any ball, man? You got the height for it.”
2015-05-12
“Do you play basketball?"
“Nope."
“In high school?"
“Not since sixth grade."
“Center?"
“Of course."
“Why did you stop? You could’ve eassssily been in the NBA. Easssssily.”
2015-05-14
“You’re almost too tall to look in there!”
2015-05-16
“How tall are you? I’m sorry."
“I’m six nine."
“Oh my gosh. Did you play basketball?”
2015-05-16
“How tall are you? About six nine?"
“Yup."
“My son said you’re about six six, I said, ‘Nah, he’s taller.’ Where you play basketball at?"
“Nowhere since sixth grade."
“You could probly start at IU now.”
2015-05-18
“Man, I hope you dunked on somebody before you walked in here. That’s all I gotta say.”
2015-05-18
“Inquiring minds gotta ask, who do you play basketball for? Or who did you play for?”
2015-05-19
“I’ve got one question for you. How tall are you?”
2015-05-23
“Seven one?"
“I’m six nine."
“I like guessing.”
2015-05-27
“You have good height!”
2015-06-03
With no context:
Barista: “You are a little man!"
Me: awkward smile
2015-06-05
“Man, how tall are you?”
2015-06-07
“Do you play basketball? If I ever decide to play, I want you on my team.”
2015-06-07
Little boy in store: “Oh! Oh! Wow!”
2015-06-07
“You’re tall. I feel so short now.”
2015-06-09
“How do you find pants long enough for you? … Can I ask how tall you are? … Does it run in the family?”
2015-06-09
“How tall at are you?”
2015-06-13
“Watch your head on that sign.”
2015-06-14
“Can I be tall like you?”
2015-06-17
“Would you like a bag? How tall are you?”
2015-06-18
“Hey! How tall are you?! How tall are you?”
2015-06-19
“I’m short… Do you play basketball?”
2015-06-20
“I have one question. How tall are you?"
“I’m six nine."
“Ok.”
2015-06-24
“Where’d you play ball? I know you get asked.”
2015-06-28
“Sir! How tall are you?"
“I’m six nine."
“Damn! You are up there! Damn!”
2015-07-01
“You’re really tall. Six… five? I’m six three. I usually tell people to look for the tallest guy in the store it they need help.”
2015-07-02
“Watch your head. How tall are you? Do you play basketball?”
2015-07-08
“Okaaaay. How many times have you been asked this question?” stares awkwardly “How tall are you?"
“I’m six nine."
“Wow. I feel like a midget.”
2015-07-10
“I don’t have to look up to many people! Watch your head.”
2015-07-23
“How tall are you, man? … I need to borrow some of your height. Want to switch?”
2015-07-24
“You’re tall."
“Thank you."
“You’re welcome, man.”
2015-08-08
“Let’s just get this out if the way. Six nine?”
2015-08-08
“How tall are you? … Did you play basketball?"
“Not for a long time."
“But you did play?”
2015-08-11
“He’s tall.”
2015-08-14
“Six nine. Cool.”
2015-08-16
“Six eight?"
“I’m six nine."
“I was thinking about saying that."
“That’s tall!”
2015-08-17
“That’s a tall man.”
2015-08-20
In Mexico:
“Excuse me sir, I have a quiz. How tall you are?"
“I’m six feet and nine inches."
“In meters?”
2015-08-20
Walking through a Mexican market:
“Hey shorty!”
Fifty times.
2015-08-20
Mexican taxi driver: “Are you a basketball player? What do you do for a living?”
2015-08-20
In Mexico:
“Too tall! Too much milk!”
2015-08-21
“A little taller and you wouldn’t have fit through the door!”
2015-08-24
“Okay, how tall are you? Play basketball?”
2015-08-25
“Wow.” long awkward pause “I saw that little car and didn’t expect you to get out. You’re a little big for that car aren’t you?”
2015-08-25
“You are tall."
“Thank you."
“How tall are you?"
“Six nine."
“Woooow. That’s crazy.”
2015-08-26
“You’re tall! Did you play basketball? I thought you’d probably been tall all your life. You could just reach up there and drop that ball right in?”
2015-09-05
“Not too many things people have to duck to get under there.”
2015-09-19
“How tall are you?"
“I’m six nine."
“Wow… Heh… I’m sorry I just…”
2015-09-24
“Hey sir. You’re really tall.”
2015-09-29
“What I would would do if I was six nine! It’d take six feet! People say, ‘You’re a girl, you shouldn’t be that tall.’ I’m like, ‘Who said that?’”
2015-10-10
“You are a really tall man! I’ve got a son who is sixteen and six one…” (Followed by lengthy conversation about buying pants.)
2015-10-12
“Six nine?”
2015-10-12
“He must be a ball player!”
2015-10-12
“He’s as tall as Christopher!”
2015-10-12
“He’s taller than you!”
2015-10-17
“You’re tall!”
2015-10-21
“You sir are one tall man.”
2015-10-21
“How tall are you?"
“Six nine."
“Ooooo! That’s tall!”
2015-10-21
“You’re really tall. How tall are you? Do you play ball? You wouldn’t even have to jump would you?”
2015-10-21
“Man, he’s tall.”
2015-10-22
“You’re really tall.”
2015-10-24
“It’s rare that I encounter someone significantly taller than I am.”
2015-10-31
“I was just about to tell you to duck.”
2015-10-31
“He’s really tall!”
2015-11-04
“Did you play basketball? You made a big mistake. You could be making bank right now. I bet you hear that all the time.”
2015-11-07
“How would you like to be as tall as that guy one day?” — Part of a long monologue a man delivered to his young son as if I weren’t standing right there
2015-11-07
Mongolian Grill chef: hand motions indicating great height
2015-11-14
Cashier: “Well, hello up there! You know what my next question is."
“I’m six nine."
To my wife: “And how tall are you?"
“I’m five nine."
“Okay, that’s not bad.”
2015-11-18
Overly enthusic Trader Joe’s cashier: “Hey shorty! … You’re not the tallest I’ve seen in here today! I saw seven foot four! I was like, ‘This is different! OK! This is different.’ But you still need me to help with the bottom shelf. You couldn’t use the bottom shelf without me.”
2015-11-21
“You’re really tall.”
2015-11-21
“I would need a stool to take a picture of you.”
2015-11-25
Cashier 1: “How tall are you?"
Me: “I’m six nine."
Cashier 1: “Are you sure you’re not seven feet."
Cashier 2: “How tall is he?"
Cashier 1: “He’s six nine."
Cashier 2: comes over to stand next to me “Woooow. This is crazy."
Cashier 1: “Do you play basketball?”
2015-11-27
“Mind if I ask how short you are?”
2015-12-01
Grown man 1: “Watch out, there’s a gentleman standing there."
Grown man 2: “How could I miss him, he’s like 9 feet tall?”
2015-12-06
“Oh! That’s a tall man! How tall are you?… Do you play ball?”
Talking to his coworker down the hall: “He’s six nine?”
2015-12-06
“How tall are you?”
2015-12-10
UPS man: “Man, you’re taller than I expected.”
2015-12-11
“And I thought I was tall.”
2015-12-12
“He’s a tall boy isn’t he.”
2015-12-19
“You’re one tall drink of water."
“Thank you."
“What are you? Six seven?"
“Six nine."
“Six nine… Wow… My buddy’s six seven.”
2015-12-22
“Wow, it feels weird. I’m looking up at somebody now. Heh.”
2015-12-23
“Watch your head when you sit down. The overhead bins are very low.”
2015-12-26
“They grow them big down here!”